You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try
Rule of Acquisition #3
Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to
Rule of Acquisition #4
Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough
Rule of Acquisition #5
If you can't break a contract, bend it
Rule of Acquisition #6
Never let family stand in the way of opportunity
Rule of Acquisition #7
Always keep you ears open
Rule of Acquisition #8
Keep count of your change
Rule of Acquisition #9
Instinct plus opportunity equals profit
Rule of Acquisition #10
A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one
Rule of Acquisition #11
Latinum isn't the only thing that shines
Rule of Acquisition #12
Anything worth selling is worth selling twice
Rule of Acquisition #13
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money
Rule of Acquisition #14
Anything stolen is pure profit
Rule of Acquisition #15
Acting stupid is often smart
Rule of Acquisition #16
A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along
Rule of Acquisition #17
A bargain usually isn't
Rule of Acquisition #18
A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all
Rule of Acquisition #19
Don't lie too soon after a promotion
Rule of Acquisition #20
When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat
Rule of Acquisition #21
Never place friend ship before profit
Rule of Acquisition #22
Wise men can hear profit in the wind
Rule of Acquisition #23
Never take the last coin, but be sure to get the rest
Rule of Acquisition #24
Never ask when you can take
Rule of Acquisition #25
Fear makes a good business partner
Rule of Acquisition #26
The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it
Rule of Acquisition #27
The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down
Rule of Acquisition #28
Morality is always defined by those in power
Rule of Acquisition #29
When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying
Rule of Acquisition #30
Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money
Rule of Acquisition #31
Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother
Rule of Acquisition #32
Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects
Rule of Acquisition #33
It never hurts to suck up to the boss
Rule of Acquisition #34
War is good for business
Rule of Acquisition #35
Peace is good for business
Rule of Acquisition #36
Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore
Rule of Acquisition #37
You can always buy back a lost reputation
Rule of Acquisition #38
Free advertising is cheap
Rule of Acquisition #39
Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all users
Rule of Acquisition #40
If you see profit on a journey, take it
Rule of Acquisition #41
Money talks, but having a lots of it gets more attention
Rule of Acquisition #42
Only negotiate when you are certain to profit
Rule of Acquisition #43
Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon
Rule of Acquisition #44
Never argue with a loaded phaser
Rule of Acquisition #45
Profit has limits. Loss has none
Rule of Acquisition #46
Labor camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person
Rule of Acquisition #47
Never trust a man wearing a better suit than you own
Rule of Acquisition #48
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife
Rule of Acquisition #49
Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent
Rule of Acquisition #50
Never bluff a Klingon
Rule of Acquisition #51
Never admit a mistake if there's someone else to blame
Rule of Acquisition #52
Only Bugsy could have built Las Vegas
Rule of Acquisition #53
Sell first; ask questions later
Rule of Acquisition #54
Never buy anything you can't sell
Rule of Acquisition #55
Always sell at the highest possible profit
Rule of Acquisition #56
Pursue profit; women come later
Rule of Acquisition #57
Good users are almost as rare as Latinum - treasure them
Rule of Acquisition #58
Friendship is seldom cheap
Rule of Acquisition #59
Fee advice is never cheap
Rule of Acquisition #60
Never use Latinum where your words will do
Rule of Acquisition #61
Never buy what can be stolen
Rule of Acquisition #62
The riskier the road, the greater the profit
Rule of Acquisition #63
Power without profit is like a ship without an engine
Rule of Acquisition #64
Don't talk shop; talk shopping
Rule of Acquisition #65
Don't talk ship; talk shipping
Rule of Acquisition #66
Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it
Rule of Acquisition #67
Enough is never enough
Rule of Acquisition #68
Compassion is no substitute for a profit
Rule of Acquisition #69
You could afford your ship without your government - if it weren't for your government
Rule of Acquisition #70
Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise
Rule of Acquisition #71
Gamble and trade have two things in common: risk and Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #72
Never let the competition know, what you're thinking
Rule of Acquisition #73
Never trust advice from a dying Ferengi; listen but don't trust
Rule of Acquisition #74
A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all
Rule of Acquisition #75
Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #76
Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies
Rule of Acquisition #77
Go where no Ferengi has gone before; where there is no reputation there is profit
Rule of Acquisition #78
Don't discriminate. The most unlikely species can create the best users
Rule of Acquisition #79
Benefit from the Vulcan greed for knowledge
Rule of Acquisition #80
If it works, sell it. If it works well, sell it for more. If it doesn't work, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique
Rule of Acquisition #81
There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman
Rule of Acquisition #82
A smart customer is not a good customer
Rule of Acquisition #83
Revenge is profitless
Rule of Acquisition #84
She can touch your ears but never your Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #85
Death takes no bribes
Rule of Acquisition #86
A wife is a luxury, a smart accountant a necessity
Rule of Acquisition #87
Trust is the biggest liability of all
Rule of Acquisition #88
When the boss comes to dinner, it never hurts to have the wife wear something
Rule of Acquisition #89
Latinum lasts longer than lust
Rule of Acquisition #90
Mine is better than ours
Rule of Acquisition #91
He who drinks fast pays slow
Rule of Acquisition #92
Never confuse wisdom with luck
Rule of Acquisition #93
He's a fool who makes his doctor his heir
Rule of Acquisition #94
Beware of small expenses: a small leak will kill a ship
Rule of Acquisition #95
Important, more impotant, Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #96
Faith moves mountains - of inventory
Rule of Acquisition #97
If you would keep a secret from an enemy, don't tell it to a friend
Rule of Acquisition #98
Profit is the better part of valor
Rule of Acquisition #99
Never trust a wise man
Rule of Acquisition #100
Everything that has no owner, needs one
Rule of Acquisition #101
Never do something you can make someone do for you
Rule of Acquisition #102
Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever
Rule of Acquisition #103
Sleep can interfere with opportunity
Rule of Acquisition #104
Money is never made. It is merely won or lost
Rule of Acquisition #105
Wise men don't lie, they just bend the truth
Rule of Acquisition #106
There is no honor in poverty
Rule of Acquisition #107
Win or lose, there's always Huyperian Beetle Snuff
Rule of Acquisition #108
A woman wearing clothes is like a man without profit
Rule of Acquisition #109
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack
Rule of Acquisition #110
Only a fool passes up a business opportunity
Rule of Acquisition #111
Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them
Rule of Acquisition #112
Never sleep with the boss's wife unless you pay him first
Rule of Acquisition #113
Never sleep with the boss's sister
Rule of Acquisition #114
Small print lead to large risk
Rule of Acquisition #115
Greed is eternal
Rule of Acquisition #116
There's always a way out
Rule of Acquisition #117
If the profit seems too good to be true, it usually is
Rule of Acquisition #118
Never cheat a honest man offering a decent price
Rule of Acquisition #119
Buy, sell, or get out of the way
Rule of Acquisition #120
Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #121
Everything is for sale, even friendship
Rule of Acquisition #122
As the users go, so goes the wise profiteer
Rule of Acquisition #123
A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a customer
Rule of Acquisition #124
Friendship is temporary, profit is forever
Rule of Acquisition #125
A lie isn't a lie until someone else knows the truth
Rule of Acquisition #126
A lie isn't a lie, it's just the truth seen from a different point of view
Rule of Acquisition #127
Gratitude can bring on generosity
Rule of Acquisition #128
Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races
Rule of Acquisition #129
Never trust your users
Rule of Acquisition #130
Never trust a beneficiary
Rule of Acquisition #131
If it gets you profit, sell your own mother
Rule of Acquisition #132
The flimsier the produce, the higher the price
Rule of Acquisition #133
Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet ... sometimes good things come in small packages
Rule of Acquisition #134
There's always a catch
Rule of Acquisition #135
The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it
Rule of Acquisition #136
The sharp knife cuts quickly. Act without delay!
Rule of Acquisition #137
Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father
Rule of Acquisition #138
Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder
Rule of Acquisition #139
Wives serve; brother inherit
Rule of Acquisition #140
The answer to quick and easy profit is: buy for less, sell for more
Rule of Acquisition #141
Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive. Fair play and financial loss go hand-in-hand
Rule of Acquisition #142
A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves
Rule of Acquisition #143
The family of Fools is ancient
Rule of Acquisition #144
There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket
Rule of Acquisition #145
Always ask for the costs first
Rule of Acquisition #146
If possible sell neither the sizzle nor the steak, but the Elphasian wheat germ
Rule of Acquisition #147
New users are like razor toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back
Rule of Acquisition #148
Opportunity waits for no one
Rule of Acquisition #149
Females and finances don't mix
Rule of Acquisition #150
Make your shop easy to find
Rule of Acquisition #151
Sometimes, what you get free costs entirely too much
Rule of Acquisition #152
Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits
Rule of Acquisition #153
You can't free a fish from water
Rule of Acquisition #154
The difference between manure and Latinum is commerece
Rule of Acquisition #155
What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too
Rule of Acquisition #156
Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit
Rule of Acquisition #157
You are surrounded by opportunities; you just have to know where to look
Rule of Acquisition #158
Don't pay until you have the goods
Rule of Acquisition #159
The customer is always right ... until you have their cash
Rule of Acquisition #160
Respect is good, Latinum is better
Rule of Acquisition #161
Never kill a customer, unless you make more profit out of his death than out of his life
Rule of Acquisition #162
His money is only your's when he can't get it back
Rule of Acquisition #163
A thirsty customer is good for profit, a drunk one isn't
Rule of Acquisition #164
Never spend your own money when you can spend someone elses
Rule of Acquisition #165
Never allow one's culture's law to get in the way of a universal goal: profit
Rule of Acquisition #166
Never give away for free what can be sold
Rule of Acquisition #167
If a deal is fairly and lawfully made, then seeking revenge especially unprofitable revenge, is illegal
Rule of Acquisition #168
Beware of relatives bearing gifts
Rule of Acquisition #169
If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable
Rule of Acquisition #170
Never gamble with an empath
Rule of Acquisition #171
Time is Latinum. The early Ferengi get the Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #172
If you can sell it, don't hsitate to steal it
Rule of Acquisition #173
A piece of Latinum in the hand is worth two in a customer's pocket
Rule of Acquisition #174
Share and perish
Rule of Acquisition #175
When everything fails - run
Rule of Acquisition #176
Ferengi's don't give promotional gifts!
Rule of Acquisition #177
Know your enemies ... but do business with them always
Rule of Acquisition #178
The world is a stage - don't forget to demand admission
Rule of Acquisition #179
Whenever you think that things can't get worse, the FCA will be knocking on you door
Rule of Acquisition #180
Never offer a confession when a bribe will do
Rule of Acquisition #181
Even dishonesty can't tarnish the glow of Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #182
Whenever you're being asked if you are god, the right answer is YES
Rule of Acquisition #183
Genius without opportunity is like Latinum in the mine
Rule of Acquisition #184
There are three things you must not talk to aliens: sex, religion and taxes
Rule of Acquisition #185
If you want to ruin yourself there are three known ways: Gambling is the fastest, women are the sweetest, and banks are the most reliable way
Rule of Acquisition #186
There are two things that will catch up with you for sure: death and taxes
Rule of Acquisition #187
If your dancing partner wants to lead at all costs, let her have her own way and ask another one to dance
Rule of Acquisition #188
Never bet on a race you haven't fixed
Rule of Acquisition #189
Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing
Rule of Acquisition #190
Drive your business or it will drive you
Rule of Acquisition #191
Let other keep their reputation. You keep their money
Rule of Acquisition #192
If the flushing isn't strong enough, use your brain and try the brush
Rule of Acquisition #193
Klingon women don't dance tango
Rule of Acquisition #194
It's always good business to know about new users before they walk in your door
Rule of Acquisition #195
Wounds heal, but debt is forever
Rule of Acquisition #196
Only give money to people you know you can steal from
Rule of Acquisition #197
Never trust your users, especially if they are your relatives
Rule of Acquisition #198
Employees are the rungs on your ladder to success - don't hesitate to step on them
Rule of Acquisition #199
The secret of one person is another person's opportunity
Rule of Acquisition #200
A madman with Latinum means profit without return
Rule of Acquisition #201
The justification for profit is profit
Rule of Acquisition #202
a) A friend in need is a customer in the making
b) A friend in need means three times the profit
Rule of Acquisition #203
A Ferengi in need, will never do anything for free
Rule of Acquisition #204
When the Grand Nagus arrives to offer you a business opportunity, it's time to leave town until he's gone
Rule of Acquisition #205
When the customer dies, the money stops a-comin'
Rule of Acquisition #206
Fighting with Klingons is like gambling with Cardassians - it's good to have a friend around when you lose
Rule of Acquisition #207
Never trust a hardworking employee
Rule of Acquisition #208
Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer
Rule of Acquisition #209
Tell them what they want to hear
Rule of Acquisition #210
A wife, who is able to clean, saves the cleaning lady
Rule of Acquisition #211
In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator
Rule of Acquisition #212
If they accept your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much
Rule of Acquisition #213
Stay neutral in conflicts so that you can sell supplies to both sides
Rule of Acquisition #214
Never begin a business transaction on an empty stomach
Rule of Acquisition #215
Instinct without opportunity is useless
Rule of Acquisition #216
Never take hospitality from someone worse off than yourself
Rule of Acquisition #217
Only pay for it if you are confronted with loaded phaser
Rule of Acquisition #218
Always know what you're buying
Rule of Acquisition #219
A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount
Rule of Acquisition #220
Profit is like a bed of roses - a few thorns are inevitable
Rule of Acquisition #221
Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes
Rule of Acquisition #222
Knowledge is Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #223
Rich men don't come to buy; they come to take
Rule of Acquisition #224
Never throw anything away: It may be worht a lot of Latinum some Stardate
Rule of Acquisition #225
Pride comes before a loss
Rule of Acquisition #226
Don't take your family for granted, only their Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #227
Loyalty can be bought ... and sold
Rule of Acquisition #228
All things come to those who wait, even Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #229
Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox
Rule of Acquisition #230
Manipulation may be a Ferengi's greatest tool, and liability
Rule of Acquisition #231
If you steal it, make sure it has a warranty
Rule of Acquisition #232
Life's no fair (How else would you turn a profit?)
Rule of Acquisition #233
Every dark cloud has a Latinum lining
Rule of Acquisition #234
Never deal with beggars; it's bad for profits
Rule of Acquisition #235
Don't trust anyone who trusts you
Rule of Acquisition #236
You can't buy fate
Rule of Acquisition #237
There's a sucker born every minute. Be sure you're the first to find each one
Rule of Acquisition #238
The truth will cost
Rule of Acquisition #239
Ambition knows no family
Rule of Acquisition #240
The higher you bid, the more users you drive away
Rule of Acquisition #241
Never underestimate the inportance of the fist impression
Rule of Acquisition #242
More is good, all is better
Rule of Acquisition #243
If you got something nice to say, then SHOUT
Rule of Acquisition #244
If you can't sell it, sit on it, but never give it away
Rule of Acquisition #245
A warranty is valid only if they can find you
Rule of Acquisition #246
He that speaks ill of the wares will buy them
Rule of Acquisition #247
Never question luck
Rule of Acquisition #248
Celebrate when you are paid, not, when you are promised
Rule of Acquisition #249
Respect other culture's beliefs; they'll be more likely to give you money
Rule of Acquisition #250
A dead vendor doesn't demand money
Rule of Acquisition #251
Satisfaction is not guaranteed
Rule of Acquisition #252
Let the buyer beware
Rule of Acquisition #253
A contract without fine print is a fool's document
Rule of Acquisition #254
Anyone who can't tell a fake doesn't deserve the real thing
Rule of Acquisition #255
A warranty without loop-holes is a liability
Rule of Acquisition #256
Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse
Rule of Acquisition #257
Only fools negotiate with their own money
Rule of Acquisition #258
A Ferengi is only as important as the amount of Latinum he carries in his pockets
Rule of Acquisition #259
A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know
Rule of Acquisition #260
Gambling is like the way to power: The only way to win is to cheat, but don't get caught in the process
Rule of Acquisition #261
A wealthy man can afford everything except a conscience
Rule of Acquisition #262
No lobes, no profit
Rule of Acquisition #263
Never let a female in clothes cloud your sense of profit
Rule of Acquisition #264
It's not the size of your planet, but it's income, that matters
Rule of Acquisition #265
The fear of loss may be your greatest enemy or your best friend - choose wisely
Rule of Acquisition #266
A pair of good ears will ring dry a hundred tongues
Rule of Acquisition #267
Wish not so much to live Long, as to live well
Rule of Acquisition #268
a) When in doubt, lie
b) When in doubt, buy
c) When in doubt, demand more money
d) When in doubt, shoot them, take their money, run and blame someone else
Rule of Acquisition #269
Never purchase anything that has been promised to be valuable or go up in value
Rule of Acquisition #270
It's better to have gambled and lost than to never have gambled at all
Rule of Acquisition #271
There's many witty men whose brains can't line their pockets
Rule of Acquisition #272
The way to a Ferengi's heart is through his wallet
Rule of Acquisition #273
Always count their Latinum before selling anything
Rule of Acquisition #274
There is no profit in love; however, a strong heart is worth a few bars of Latinum on the open market. Keep it on ice
Rule of Acquisition #275
Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it
Rule of Acquisition #276
If at first you don't succeed, try to acquire again
Rule of Acquisition #277
Diamonds may be girl's best friend, but you can only buy the girl with Latinum
Rule of Acquisition #278
It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit
Rule of Acquisition #279
Never close a deal too soon after a female strokes your lobes
Rule of Acquisition #280
An empty bag can not stand upright
Rule of Acquisition #281
Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell
Rule of Acquisition #282
Business is like war; it's important to recognize the winner